Post by Salem6 on Jul 8, 2005 16:42:40 GMT
The Fiver
08 July 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: New Deal
* * * * * * * * * * * *
GERRARD SIGNS ON THE DOTTED LINE
When Steven Gerrard glanced quickly over each shoulder, stuck his
tongue out of the corner of his mouth, furrowed his narrow forehead
in concentration and started painstakingly scrawling his own name in
biro this morning, he could well have been impersonating a member of
Team Fiver writing yet another riveting edition of your favourite
daily football email ... if he hadn't picked up the pen before 3pm
while being paid about GBP100,000 per week more for doing so.
But mimicry isn't the Liverpool skipper's bag (unless you're one of
those cynics who believes he does a flawless impression of Elton John
in full-on diva mode), which is why the news that he was signing a
shiny new four-year contract makes a lot more sense. After more
humming and hawing than Lord Haw Haw pondering the answer to a very
hard question, Gerrard today finally pledged his future to Liverpool,
along with Jamie Carragher, who penned a four-year deal with a
heartening lack of fuss.
"It's a massive weight off my mind," chirruped Stevie on Liverpool's
official website, much to the annoyance of a Fiver that had already
filled today's quota of forehead gags. "Over the last 12 months there
has been a lot of speculation about my future and it hasn't helped my
football. Next season you'll see a Steven Gerrard who has got a clear
mind and who is focused on his football." As opposed to a Steven
Gerrard who seems focused on holding his club to ransom at the first
sight of a swallow each year, one presumes.
And after a tumultuous seven days, Stevie also admitted there was room
for improvement in the relationship between he and his manager, Rafa
The Gaffa. "Our relationship is OK but I admit it could be better and
that is something I'm going to work on. I'm sure we will sit down in
the next few days for a chat. I don't think he's [Benitez] seen the
best of me," he explained, suggesting that wayward 60-yard passes
could soon be conspicuous by their absence from his repertoire.
And what of all the talk of bust-ups? "All the talk of bust-ups is
nonsense," Stevie harrumphed. "We have had a few heated discussions
over the last five or six days but my respect for Rafa has not
changed. He is one of the best coaches in the world and I understand
he rates me as a player." But not, some would suggest, quite as
highly as Gerrard rates himself.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You have to remember where we were when Mark [Hughes] came in last
season, so we had to play in a certain way to get out of it. I'm
hoping we will be able to play in a more entertaining fashion this
year and with that will come a restoration of what might be perceived
by some to be a slightly tarnished reputation" - chairman John
Williams explains how Blackeye Rovers will shed their tag over the
forthcoming campaign, Craig Bellamy et al.
*********************
ADVERT
Get two free cinema tickets and free unlimited DVD rentals for a month
when you subscribe to the Guardian's new DVD rental service:
www.guardian.co.uk/sofacinema
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Andy Cole could join Craig Bellamy at Blackeye Rovers in a GBP500,000
deal.
Newcastle hope to bring a Golden Boot winner to St James's Park; sadly
for them it's Diego Forlan, not Thierry Henry.
News of Javier Saviola's impending departure from Barcelona has
sparked Middlesbrough's interest.
Juventus will raise their initial bid of GBP5m and Stephen Appiah in a
second attempt to secure Patrick Vieira's autograph.
But the Old Lady will allow GBP3m-rated midfielder Enzo Maresca to
leave the Delle Alpi, with Fulham at the front of a hastily-convened
queue.
Paulo Wanchope is negotiating a free transfer from Malaga to
Portsmouth.
Guus Hiddink fears the MU 49ers will return to his PSV talent pool and
sign Lee Young-Pyo.
A mystery "second Premiership club" has entered the bidding for
Seville's Julio Baptista, just as Arsenal aim to tie up an agreement
with the Spaniards.
The left-back bunglings of Thimothee Atouba could be on display at a
Hamburger SV game near you soon, after the THFC defender revealed
his desire to quit north London.
And amid the confusion following Millwall chairman Jeff Burnige's
shock resignation, Lions manager Steve Claridge will make Swindon
midfielder Sammy Igoe his first signing.
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Frank Arnesen will assume his new role as Chelsea's sporting director
on September 1 after Tottenham agreed to an undisclosed compensation
package.
French defender Pascal Chimbanda has become Wigan's second summer
signing after agreeing a three-year deal at the JJB in preference to
one at Marseille.
Charlton have signed a Newcastle midfielder on a four-year deal, but
it's not Lee Bowyer but Darren Ambrose.
Stockport County's Supporters' Club has completed its takeover of the
Hatters.
Chilean footballers plan to go on strike next week in protest at
unpaid wages, according to Footballers' Union (SIFUP) officials.
And a survey carried out by Italian research institute Eta Meta has
revealed that almost two thirds of the 124 Serie A players
interviewed claim to be stressed by their job, one in 10 feels they
have no real friends and one in five blames the media for getting
them so anxious in the first place.
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"The photo of Steven Gerrard wearing an Everton shirt [yesterday's
Fiver letters] is from 1987 not 1995, and shows the loveable rascal
with the League Title and Charity Shield:
www.bluekipper.com/assets/images/blubber/toffee_gerrard.jpg" -
Mike Dixon (and others).
"Actually, that picture is of Gerrard's cousin Anthony, an avid Blues
fan" - John Scone, Kirkby (and others).
"Re: uses for 35mm film canisters. Perhaps Liverpool fans could keep
the ashes of their burnt Stevie G shirts in them. Tiny urns if you
will?" - Leo Byrne.
"Thank you for pointing out that Gerrard is overhyped. Outside of the
rare manic dash which produces one highlight-reel goal per month, he
can't carry Xabi Alonso's boots. As an Arsenal fan, I was begging
that Stevie would wind up at Chelsea, running everyone out of
position, bumping into Frank Lampard at all the wrong times and
disturbing the Special One's almost miraculous chemistry. Shame" -
Steve Cameron.
"Re: Paul Robinson signing a seven-year deal at Tottenham. Did he
break a mirror?" - John V Willshire.
"Am I the only Fiver reader who's been driven to insanity by having
Zombie as an ear-worm thanks to Patrick Worth's Petty Dumping Tale
[Yesterday's TV and Radio]? It's almost as painful as What's Going
On? by 4 Non Blondes. Make it stop! - Doug Peters [At least it wasn't
Joan Osborne's What If God Was One of Us - Fiver Ed].
"Further to Ger Gilroy's letter [last Friday's Fiver], I was wondering
if any other celebs, VIPs, royalty or footballers are going to out
themselves as Fiver readers? They would probably stand a good chance
of winning a T-shirt" - Adrian Johnson.
"Living in Moscow, I know too well how it feels when your city is
under such an attack. I hope very much that the Fiver's team and
readers and their loved ones are fine. My most sincere sympathy is
with you" - Dmitry V. Tuzoff (and 27 other foreign-based readers).
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters to
the.boss@guardian.co.uk. The best letter of the day will win a classy
T-shirt from fiver.goalhanger.com/. Today's winner: John V
Willshire.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
Channel 4: South American Football (4.25am)
"One Saturday night at Rumours nightclub in Accrington, I copped off
with a lass called Sharon," says Marten Allen, author of today's
exceedingly petty dumping tale.
Five: Russell Grant's Postcards (3.55am)
"Her only drawback was a large and crooked nose, which I discovered
had been broken on numerous occasions. However, I was willing to
overlook her twisted beak and we made arrangements to meet again.
BBC Radio Five: Sport on Five (7pm)
"The next day we indulged in a spot of heavy petting. I was horrified
to discover that every time she breathed out through her nose, it
whistled like a kettle on the boil.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off the ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
"I couldn't cope and dumped her on the spot." Harsh, but probably
fair. Got a better, pettier dumping tale? Send them to
the.boss@guardian.co.uk, marked The Handlebar Moustache Was The Last
Straw.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
YOU WON'T FIND CROMULENT IN THE DICTIONARY
The Fiver was written by Barry Glendenning. Guardian Unlimited (c)
Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales.
No.908396. Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester.
08 July 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: New Deal
* * * * * * * * * * * *
GERRARD SIGNS ON THE DOTTED LINE
When Steven Gerrard glanced quickly over each shoulder, stuck his
tongue out of the corner of his mouth, furrowed his narrow forehead
in concentration and started painstakingly scrawling his own name in
biro this morning, he could well have been impersonating a member of
Team Fiver writing yet another riveting edition of your favourite
daily football email ... if he hadn't picked up the pen before 3pm
while being paid about GBP100,000 per week more for doing so.
But mimicry isn't the Liverpool skipper's bag (unless you're one of
those cynics who believes he does a flawless impression of Elton John
in full-on diva mode), which is why the news that he was signing a
shiny new four-year contract makes a lot more sense. After more
humming and hawing than Lord Haw Haw pondering the answer to a very
hard question, Gerrard today finally pledged his future to Liverpool,
along with Jamie Carragher, who penned a four-year deal with a
heartening lack of fuss.
"It's a massive weight off my mind," chirruped Stevie on Liverpool's
official website, much to the annoyance of a Fiver that had already
filled today's quota of forehead gags. "Over the last 12 months there
has been a lot of speculation about my future and it hasn't helped my
football. Next season you'll see a Steven Gerrard who has got a clear
mind and who is focused on his football." As opposed to a Steven
Gerrard who seems focused on holding his club to ransom at the first
sight of a swallow each year, one presumes.
And after a tumultuous seven days, Stevie also admitted there was room
for improvement in the relationship between he and his manager, Rafa
The Gaffa. "Our relationship is OK but I admit it could be better and
that is something I'm going to work on. I'm sure we will sit down in
the next few days for a chat. I don't think he's [Benitez] seen the
best of me," he explained, suggesting that wayward 60-yard passes
could soon be conspicuous by their absence from his repertoire.
And what of all the talk of bust-ups? "All the talk of bust-ups is
nonsense," Stevie harrumphed. "We have had a few heated discussions
over the last five or six days but my respect for Rafa has not
changed. He is one of the best coaches in the world and I understand
he rates me as a player." But not, some would suggest, quite as
highly as Gerrard rates himself.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You have to remember where we were when Mark [Hughes] came in last
season, so we had to play in a certain way to get out of it. I'm
hoping we will be able to play in a more entertaining fashion this
year and with that will come a restoration of what might be perceived
by some to be a slightly tarnished reputation" - chairman John
Williams explains how Blackeye Rovers will shed their tag over the
forthcoming campaign, Craig Bellamy et al.
*********************
ADVERT
Get two free cinema tickets and free unlimited DVD rentals for a month
when you subscribe to the Guardian's new DVD rental service:
www.guardian.co.uk/sofacinema
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Andy Cole could join Craig Bellamy at Blackeye Rovers in a GBP500,000
deal.
Newcastle hope to bring a Golden Boot winner to St James's Park; sadly
for them it's Diego Forlan, not Thierry Henry.
News of Javier Saviola's impending departure from Barcelona has
sparked Middlesbrough's interest.
Juventus will raise their initial bid of GBP5m and Stephen Appiah in a
second attempt to secure Patrick Vieira's autograph.
But the Old Lady will allow GBP3m-rated midfielder Enzo Maresca to
leave the Delle Alpi, with Fulham at the front of a hastily-convened
queue.
Paulo Wanchope is negotiating a free transfer from Malaga to
Portsmouth.
Guus Hiddink fears the MU 49ers will return to his PSV talent pool and
sign Lee Young-Pyo.
A mystery "second Premiership club" has entered the bidding for
Seville's Julio Baptista, just as Arsenal aim to tie up an agreement
with the Spaniards.
The left-back bunglings of Thimothee Atouba could be on display at a
Hamburger SV game near you soon, after the THFC defender revealed
his desire to quit north London.
And amid the confusion following Millwall chairman Jeff Burnige's
shock resignation, Lions manager Steve Claridge will make Swindon
midfielder Sammy Igoe his first signing.
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Frank Arnesen will assume his new role as Chelsea's sporting director
on September 1 after Tottenham agreed to an undisclosed compensation
package.
French defender Pascal Chimbanda has become Wigan's second summer
signing after agreeing a three-year deal at the JJB in preference to
one at Marseille.
Charlton have signed a Newcastle midfielder on a four-year deal, but
it's not Lee Bowyer but Darren Ambrose.
Stockport County's Supporters' Club has completed its takeover of the
Hatters.
Chilean footballers plan to go on strike next week in protest at
unpaid wages, according to Footballers' Union (SIFUP) officials.
And a survey carried out by Italian research institute Eta Meta has
revealed that almost two thirds of the 124 Serie A players
interviewed claim to be stressed by their job, one in 10 feels they
have no real friends and one in five blames the media for getting
them so anxious in the first place.
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"The photo of Steven Gerrard wearing an Everton shirt [yesterday's
Fiver letters] is from 1987 not 1995, and shows the loveable rascal
with the League Title and Charity Shield:
www.bluekipper.com/assets/images/blubber/toffee_gerrard.jpg" -
Mike Dixon (and others).
"Actually, that picture is of Gerrard's cousin Anthony, an avid Blues
fan" - John Scone, Kirkby (and others).
"Re: uses for 35mm film canisters. Perhaps Liverpool fans could keep
the ashes of their burnt Stevie G shirts in them. Tiny urns if you
will?" - Leo Byrne.
"Thank you for pointing out that Gerrard is overhyped. Outside of the
rare manic dash which produces one highlight-reel goal per month, he
can't carry Xabi Alonso's boots. As an Arsenal fan, I was begging
that Stevie would wind up at Chelsea, running everyone out of
position, bumping into Frank Lampard at all the wrong times and
disturbing the Special One's almost miraculous chemistry. Shame" -
Steve Cameron.
"Re: Paul Robinson signing a seven-year deal at Tottenham. Did he
break a mirror?" - John V Willshire.
"Am I the only Fiver reader who's been driven to insanity by having
Zombie as an ear-worm thanks to Patrick Worth's Petty Dumping Tale
[Yesterday's TV and Radio]? It's almost as painful as What's Going
On? by 4 Non Blondes. Make it stop! - Doug Peters [At least it wasn't
Joan Osborne's What If God Was One of Us - Fiver Ed].
"Further to Ger Gilroy's letter [last Friday's Fiver], I was wondering
if any other celebs, VIPs, royalty or footballers are going to out
themselves as Fiver readers? They would probably stand a good chance
of winning a T-shirt" - Adrian Johnson.
"Living in Moscow, I know too well how it feels when your city is
under such an attack. I hope very much that the Fiver's team and
readers and their loved ones are fine. My most sincere sympathy is
with you" - Dmitry V. Tuzoff (and 27 other foreign-based readers).
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters to
the.boss@guardian.co.uk. The best letter of the day will win a classy
T-shirt from fiver.goalhanger.com/. Today's winner: John V
Willshire.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
Channel 4: South American Football (4.25am)
"One Saturday night at Rumours nightclub in Accrington, I copped off
with a lass called Sharon," says Marten Allen, author of today's
exceedingly petty dumping tale.
Five: Russell Grant's Postcards (3.55am)
"Her only drawback was a large and crooked nose, which I discovered
had been broken on numerous occasions. However, I was willing to
overlook her twisted beak and we made arrangements to meet again.
BBC Radio Five: Sport on Five (7pm)
"The next day we indulged in a spot of heavy petting. I was horrified
to discover that every time she breathed out through her nose, it
whistled like a kettle on the boil.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off the ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
"I couldn't cope and dumped her on the spot." Harsh, but probably
fair. Got a better, pettier dumping tale? Send them to
the.boss@guardian.co.uk, marked The Handlebar Moustache Was The Last
Straw.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
YOU WON'T FIND CROMULENT IN THE DICTIONARY
The Fiver was written by Barry Glendenning. Guardian Unlimited (c)
Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales.
No.908396. Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester.