Post by Salem6 on Jun 27, 2005 17:37:56 GMT
The Fiver
27 June 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: More Varieties of Lollipops
* * * * * * * * * * * *
OLD LADY CHASES OLD MAN
Thanks, in part, to the actions of mud-incrusted eco-warrior Swampy
and his tree-hugging cohorts, the Environment Protection Act 1990
forces businesses with a GBP2m-a-year turnover to recycle part of
their packaging - a law which today's Sun happily obeyed by kicking
off another summer of Patrick Vieira staying/going rumours. But at
least this time there was a twist: for the club interested in
splurging millions on Arsenal's hasn't-been-bothered-for-two-years
captain wasn't Real Madrid but Juventus.
"Chelsea made a formal offer for David Trezeguet. But none of our
champion players is for sale," explained Juve managing director
Luciano Moggi, before changing topics quicker than Pavarotti at a
chocolate-eating convention. "What we want now is to find a midfield
partner for Emerson - and our wish is to buy Vieira. Obviously,
Arsenal will not let him go cheaply, as he is a magnificent, winning
midfielder. But if they are willing to do business, we'd buy him
tomorrow."
As yet there's been no reaction from Highbury - and nor, for a change,
any stirrings from Vieira's agent - which suggests the Old Lady
perhaps won't be canoodling with Arsenal's old midfield man anytime
soon. Still, any cash for Vieira (GBP20m? GBP25m?) would come in
useful for securing another Gunners' target: Robinho. But the tricky
Brazilian, who boasts more varieties of lollipops than Chupa Chups,
won't come cheap.
"He is a player very much in demand and his price has gone up in
recent weeks," explained Juan Figer, who owns 40% of the player
(Robinho's club Santos own the other 60%). "It is true that Arsenal
are interested, but it's not a question of it being a race. The fact
is that Real have an advantage - there is a verbal agreement between
them and Robinho." So there you have it, Gooners. Vieira's probably
staying, Robinho's probably not going, and your starting XI next
season is likely to be largely the same it's been since 2001.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You either sign him and live with him, or you don't sign him at all -
but I would certainly sign him. It's not a matter of Craig finding
the right the club - it's about people finding Craig. Craig is Craig
and you are never going to change him. Why do people keep going on
about Craig Bellamy? If you're going to sign him, then sign him, but
if you're not interested, then shut up and leave him alone" - Neville
Southall wisely refuses to get drawn into the debate about a certain
Welsh striker's future.
*********************
ADVERT: WWF
Team player? Join those helping to protect the world's endangered
species and spaces. Become a member of WWF from GBP2 a month at
ad.uk.tangozebra.com/s/ac/c_0/4034/5082/9002;TIMESTAMP?http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wwf.org.uk%2Fjoin-wwf
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Why the long face? Ruud van Nistelrooy wants to go to Real Madrid, but
Sir Alex Ferguson isn't selling.
West Ham want Luis Figo and will pay him GBP100,000 per week to form a
dream twin-flank attack with Matthew Etherington.
Be-beep! Txt mssge frm Dvd O'Lry: "Vlla wnt 2by Crg Bllmy bt wll sttle
4 Kvn Phllps"
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Arsenal's Dutch international striker Robin van Persie, 21, has been
released after two weeks in custody on suspicion of rape. "The
investigation still goes on but it is not necessary to hold him any
longer," a spokeswoman for the Rotterdam prosecutor said.
Total Network Solutions have until tomorrow lunchtime to tell Uefa
where they intend to play their Big Cup tie against Liverpool. "Oi
Uefa! We intend to play at Wrexham's Racecourse Ground," they'll say.
Nigel Worthington has made Nottingham Forest full-back Matthieu
Louis-Jean Norwich's first summer signing. Midfielder Gary Holt has
gone the other way in a straight swap.
Jean-Michel Aulas has insisted kings of Lyon Michael Essien, Mahamadou
Diarra and Juninho will stay at the Ligue 1 champions despite
interest from Europe's top clubs.
Arsenal goalkeeper Stuart Taylor has agreed to join Aston Villa and
will sign a four-year deal this afternoon after completing a medical
...
... while injury-plagued Manchester City keeper Nicky Weaver is set to
miss the first fortnight of the new season with wrist-knack.
* * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
Subscribe now and receive Lawrence Booth's weekly cricket dispatch,
The Spin, from silly point tomorrow morning:
www.sport.guardian.co.uk/thespin
All the Brits may be out, but at least the tennis is improving. Follow
Lindsay Davenport v Kim Clijsters at Wimbledon now, then tune in for
more live, hot, sweaty game-by-game action tomorrow:
www.sport.guardian.co.uk/wimbledon2005/
Sign up now for FREE news alerts, sent FREE to your desktop - for
FREE: www.guardian.co.uk/alerts/0,15907,1457082,00.html
And in tomorrow's 60p Guardian: Martina Navratilova on male
base-liners, Richard Williams on a nervous week for the Lions and
Wigan (Once Were) Warriors pick through the wreckage of their record
defeat.
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"Re: The Northern Republic and the British-Ruled South. Well done
Fiver on yet another great gag that should get the complaints flying
in from those who didn't get it. I'm looking forward to the rants" -
Jonathan Ellis, London.
"What a mistake in Friday's Fiver! Shelbourne are from Dublin, which
is in the Republic of Ireland, while Glentoran hail from Belfast,
capital of Northern Ireland" - Bryan Butterfield.
"Let's all laugh at Americans. From today's Washington Post online
about Saturday afternoon at Wimbledon: 'Never has a group of athletes
been quite so handsomely turned out. The world of golf was
represented by Ernie Els, dressed in a dark suit, crisp white shirt
and pink tie. Nearby were skater Jayne Torvill; Chelsea soccer
captain Tessa Sanderson; and Lawrence Dallaglio from the world of
rugby'" - Alex Marklew.
"I have seen Chris Rea 'perform', if standing stock still while
playing and droning 'thanks' or 'this is from the new album' between
songs counts as performing. I love the albums but come on, 'bland' is
being kind. I know this has little to do with football, but how many
letters do you get from Algiers?" - Mick Hamilton, Algiers.
"Re: celebrity fans and Chris Hall claiming Jive Bunny for Doncaster
Rovers (Friday's Fiver letters). Just because I live in East
Yorkshire does not mean I am from there. Likewise, just because
someone went to school in South Yorkshire, does not mean the 'musical
collaboration' he was part of was from there. The 'men' behind Jive
Bunny met and first performed together in Nuneaton, and therefore are
honorary Nuneaton Boro fans, whether they like it or not" - Nathan
Walker.
"Last week, the Fiver speculated that Figo will sign with Newcastle,
Liverpool, Bolton, Stuttgart and some club in Qatar. Can't you just
admit the obvious - you have no bloody clue where he's going and
you're just making this stuff up. In the interests of entertainment,
why not link him with preposterous moves to Partick Thistle or
Stockport County?" - Mike Wilner, Los Angeles.
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters - a paragraph
at most please - to the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
BBC Two: Frontline Football (11.20pm)
"As a callow 17-year-old, I was quietly looking forward to my first
visit to the legendary Monsters of Rock festival at Castle
Donnington," recalls Mark Candlin, offering up another sacrificial
tale of summer festival madness.
Five: Confederations Cup - Germany v Brazil & Mexico v Argentina
(1.35pm)
"Arriving with the rest of this country's lank-haired population, my
mate and I decided to get the practical stuff out of the way and
erect the tent immediately. This took far too long but, when
finished, it was with giddy smiles we went back to the car to get the
crates of Scrumpy Jack.
Sky One: England's 50 Greatest Goals (9pm)
"But we'd left the boot open and were horrified to find that some
young roustabout had stolen all our cider, forcing us to spend all
our pocket-money on overpriced lager.
British Eurosport: Confederations Cup highlights (11pm)
"After at least three of said lagers, and having managed to become
possibly the only man ever to sleep through a Slayer performance, I
went down the front for a mosh.
Talksport: Evening kick-off (7pm)
"A good hour's mayhem was ruined only when I returned to where I'd
been sleeping and realised that, during the crush, some modern-day
Fagin had lifted my wallet.
BBC Radio Five: Sport On Five (7pm)
"Determined not to let that get me down, I rocked on heroically,
enjoying two hours of heavy metal madness courtesy of Metallica.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off The Ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
"Before returning to the tent to find that, yup, it too had been
stolen." Have you ever had a more miserable festival experience?
Perhaps it was as recently as last Friday at Glastonbury? If so, tell
the.boss@guardian.co.uk, marking your stories: Sod The Car Keys, My
Rizlas Are In There
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
REST IN PEACE TWICE NIGHTLY, FROM ALL AT ONCE AFTERNOONLY. WHAT'LL WE
DO FOR MID-AFTERNOON KICKS NOW?
The Fiver was written by Sean Ingle. Guardian Unlimited (c) Guardian
Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales. No.908396.
Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester
27 June 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: More Varieties of Lollipops
* * * * * * * * * * * *
OLD LADY CHASES OLD MAN
Thanks, in part, to the actions of mud-incrusted eco-warrior Swampy
and his tree-hugging cohorts, the Environment Protection Act 1990
forces businesses with a GBP2m-a-year turnover to recycle part of
their packaging - a law which today's Sun happily obeyed by kicking
off another summer of Patrick Vieira staying/going rumours. But at
least this time there was a twist: for the club interested in
splurging millions on Arsenal's hasn't-been-bothered-for-two-years
captain wasn't Real Madrid but Juventus.
"Chelsea made a formal offer for David Trezeguet. But none of our
champion players is for sale," explained Juve managing director
Luciano Moggi, before changing topics quicker than Pavarotti at a
chocolate-eating convention. "What we want now is to find a midfield
partner for Emerson - and our wish is to buy Vieira. Obviously,
Arsenal will not let him go cheaply, as he is a magnificent, winning
midfielder. But if they are willing to do business, we'd buy him
tomorrow."
As yet there's been no reaction from Highbury - and nor, for a change,
any stirrings from Vieira's agent - which suggests the Old Lady
perhaps won't be canoodling with Arsenal's old midfield man anytime
soon. Still, any cash for Vieira (GBP20m? GBP25m?) would come in
useful for securing another Gunners' target: Robinho. But the tricky
Brazilian, who boasts more varieties of lollipops than Chupa Chups,
won't come cheap.
"He is a player very much in demand and his price has gone up in
recent weeks," explained Juan Figer, who owns 40% of the player
(Robinho's club Santos own the other 60%). "It is true that Arsenal
are interested, but it's not a question of it being a race. The fact
is that Real have an advantage - there is a verbal agreement between
them and Robinho." So there you have it, Gooners. Vieira's probably
staying, Robinho's probably not going, and your starting XI next
season is likely to be largely the same it's been since 2001.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"You either sign him and live with him, or you don't sign him at all -
but I would certainly sign him. It's not a matter of Craig finding
the right the club - it's about people finding Craig. Craig is Craig
and you are never going to change him. Why do people keep going on
about Craig Bellamy? If you're going to sign him, then sign him, but
if you're not interested, then shut up and leave him alone" - Neville
Southall wisely refuses to get drawn into the debate about a certain
Welsh striker's future.
*********************
ADVERT: WWF
Team player? Join those helping to protect the world's endangered
species and spaces. Become a member of WWF from GBP2 a month at
ad.uk.tangozebra.com/s/ac/c_0/4034/5082/9002;TIMESTAMP?http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wwf.org.uk%2Fjoin-wwf
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Why the long face? Ruud van Nistelrooy wants to go to Real Madrid, but
Sir Alex Ferguson isn't selling.
West Ham want Luis Figo and will pay him GBP100,000 per week to form a
dream twin-flank attack with Matthew Etherington.
Be-beep! Txt mssge frm Dvd O'Lry: "Vlla wnt 2by Crg Bllmy bt wll sttle
4 Kvn Phllps"
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Arsenal's Dutch international striker Robin van Persie, 21, has been
released after two weeks in custody on suspicion of rape. "The
investigation still goes on but it is not necessary to hold him any
longer," a spokeswoman for the Rotterdam prosecutor said.
Total Network Solutions have until tomorrow lunchtime to tell Uefa
where they intend to play their Big Cup tie against Liverpool. "Oi
Uefa! We intend to play at Wrexham's Racecourse Ground," they'll say.
Nigel Worthington has made Nottingham Forest full-back Matthieu
Louis-Jean Norwich's first summer signing. Midfielder Gary Holt has
gone the other way in a straight swap.
Jean-Michel Aulas has insisted kings of Lyon Michael Essien, Mahamadou
Diarra and Juninho will stay at the Ligue 1 champions despite
interest from Europe's top clubs.
Arsenal goalkeeper Stuart Taylor has agreed to join Aston Villa and
will sign a four-year deal this afternoon after completing a medical
...
... while injury-plagued Manchester City keeper Nicky Weaver is set to
miss the first fortnight of the new season with wrist-knack.
* * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
Subscribe now and receive Lawrence Booth's weekly cricket dispatch,
The Spin, from silly point tomorrow morning:
www.sport.guardian.co.uk/thespin
All the Brits may be out, but at least the tennis is improving. Follow
Lindsay Davenport v Kim Clijsters at Wimbledon now, then tune in for
more live, hot, sweaty game-by-game action tomorrow:
www.sport.guardian.co.uk/wimbledon2005/
Sign up now for FREE news alerts, sent FREE to your desktop - for
FREE: www.guardian.co.uk/alerts/0,15907,1457082,00.html
And in tomorrow's 60p Guardian: Martina Navratilova on male
base-liners, Richard Williams on a nervous week for the Lions and
Wigan (Once Were) Warriors pick through the wreckage of their record
defeat.
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"Re: The Northern Republic and the British-Ruled South. Well done
Fiver on yet another great gag that should get the complaints flying
in from those who didn't get it. I'm looking forward to the rants" -
Jonathan Ellis, London.
"What a mistake in Friday's Fiver! Shelbourne are from Dublin, which
is in the Republic of Ireland, while Glentoran hail from Belfast,
capital of Northern Ireland" - Bryan Butterfield.
"Let's all laugh at Americans. From today's Washington Post online
about Saturday afternoon at Wimbledon: 'Never has a group of athletes
been quite so handsomely turned out. The world of golf was
represented by Ernie Els, dressed in a dark suit, crisp white shirt
and pink tie. Nearby were skater Jayne Torvill; Chelsea soccer
captain Tessa Sanderson; and Lawrence Dallaglio from the world of
rugby'" - Alex Marklew.
"I have seen Chris Rea 'perform', if standing stock still while
playing and droning 'thanks' or 'this is from the new album' between
songs counts as performing. I love the albums but come on, 'bland' is
being kind. I know this has little to do with football, but how many
letters do you get from Algiers?" - Mick Hamilton, Algiers.
"Re: celebrity fans and Chris Hall claiming Jive Bunny for Doncaster
Rovers (Friday's Fiver letters). Just because I live in East
Yorkshire does not mean I am from there. Likewise, just because
someone went to school in South Yorkshire, does not mean the 'musical
collaboration' he was part of was from there. The 'men' behind Jive
Bunny met and first performed together in Nuneaton, and therefore are
honorary Nuneaton Boro fans, whether they like it or not" - Nathan
Walker.
"Last week, the Fiver speculated that Figo will sign with Newcastle,
Liverpool, Bolton, Stuttgart and some club in Qatar. Can't you just
admit the obvious - you have no bloody clue where he's going and
you're just making this stuff up. In the interests of entertainment,
why not link him with preposterous moves to Partick Thistle or
Stockport County?" - Mike Wilner, Los Angeles.
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters - a paragraph
at most please - to the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
BBC Two: Frontline Football (11.20pm)
"As a callow 17-year-old, I was quietly looking forward to my first
visit to the legendary Monsters of Rock festival at Castle
Donnington," recalls Mark Candlin, offering up another sacrificial
tale of summer festival madness.
Five: Confederations Cup - Germany v Brazil & Mexico v Argentina
(1.35pm)
"Arriving with the rest of this country's lank-haired population, my
mate and I decided to get the practical stuff out of the way and
erect the tent immediately. This took far too long but, when
finished, it was with giddy smiles we went back to the car to get the
crates of Scrumpy Jack.
Sky One: England's 50 Greatest Goals (9pm)
"But we'd left the boot open and were horrified to find that some
young roustabout had stolen all our cider, forcing us to spend all
our pocket-money on overpriced lager.
British Eurosport: Confederations Cup highlights (11pm)
"After at least three of said lagers, and having managed to become
possibly the only man ever to sleep through a Slayer performance, I
went down the front for a mosh.
Talksport: Evening kick-off (7pm)
"A good hour's mayhem was ruined only when I returned to where I'd
been sleeping and realised that, during the crush, some modern-day
Fagin had lifted my wallet.
BBC Radio Five: Sport On Five (7pm)
"Determined not to let that get me down, I rocked on heroically,
enjoying two hours of heavy metal madness courtesy of Metallica.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off The Ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
"Before returning to the tent to find that, yup, it too had been
stolen." Have you ever had a more miserable festival experience?
Perhaps it was as recently as last Friday at Glastonbury? If so, tell
the.boss@guardian.co.uk, marking your stories: Sod The Car Keys, My
Rizlas Are In There
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
REST IN PEACE TWICE NIGHTLY, FROM ALL AT ONCE AFTERNOONLY. WHAT'LL WE
DO FOR MID-AFTERNOON KICKS NOW?
The Fiver was written by Sean Ingle. Guardian Unlimited (c) Guardian
Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales. No.908396.
Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester