Post by Salem6 on Jun 14, 2005 5:01:42 GMT
The Fiver
13 June 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Summer Loving?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP
Today, football's silly season officially began. The Fiver knows this
because, until 2.27pm this afternoon, the game's biggest story was
Andy O'Brien signing for Portsmouth. Meanwhile the nation's tabloids
have been speculating with the feverish intensity of a gold-digger in
1840s California (Owen Goin' screeched the Sun; Henry is new target
for Real! screamed the Stannah). So thank goodness, then, that at
2.28pm a proper story broke: Steven Gerrard wants to stay at
Liverpool.
Rewind six months and the chances of Gerrard signing a new deal were
about as high as the Fiver winning the Merseyside People's Choice
Award. But now Big Cup's in the bag, the Liverpool captain has - much
like ex-boss Ged Houllier in 2001 - had a change of heart. "Of course
I want to stay," Gerrard insisted. "I've still got two seasons left
and I don't know how long talks will go on for but the sooner it is
sorted the better."
And Gerrard's enthusiasm doesn't end there, either - for he can't wait
to face the best Moldova or Kazakhstan has to offer in a Big Cup
first-round qualifier in mid-July. "I'm looking forward to a long
season ahead," he said, as the Village People's Macho Man blared
away. "We can't complain about being in the first round because the
rules stated we shouldn't be in it." A statement that, while true,
will shock most Liverpool fans who've spent the weekend doing just
that.
More encouraging still, Gerrard - like Rafa Benitez - knows that
Liverpool chronically under-performed in the league last season and
wants that to change. "Big Cup has gone now. We've got to be just as
hungry," he thundered. "We won the big one but it is important we
forget about that and move on and try to do better in the
Premiership." Fighting talk or hot air? Come a wet January night in
Wigan, perhaps we'll find out.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Not many people know, but when I blew for full-time the players
didn't hear the whistle and as it was such a great game I let it
continue for a few minutes" - After 35 years, Israeli referee Abraham
Klein reveals how he contributed to the classic Brazil v England
match in the 1970 World Cup.
*********************
ADVERT: ORANGE
Keep up to date on the transfers, tempers and the tantrums. Click here
to get email on your phone:
ad.uk.doubleclick.net/clk;16132284;11305059;u?http://www.orange.co.uk/emailonyourphone/
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Either Bryan Robson has fallen victim to a crank caller or Argentine
goleador Gabriel Batistuta really has got in touch to say he wants to
join WBA's coaching team. "I had a phone call from an agent saying
Batistuta would be interested in working with me and my staff," a
slightly bemused Robbo revealed. "If he does genuinely want to come
in during pre-season training to have a look at the way we train and
have a bit of an input with the strikers, I would certainly look at
that."
Laurent Robert could be cavorting around Bolton in nothing but his
underpants next season.
With Didier Drogba feeling nostalgic for his free-scoring days in
France and Chelsea feeling mortified after spending GBP24m on him,
Gerard Houllier reckons it's time to bring the rich man's Emile
Heskey to Lyon. Jose Mourinho will try to use him as a bargaining
chip for Michael Essien.
Jason Euell wants to leave Charlton. Chris Coleman is thinking of
putting him up at Craven Cottage.
* * * * * * * * * * *
THE BBC WANTS YOUR HELP
Do you know when players first got 'nutmegged?' Were you a Mackem
before 1991? And does the phrase 'back to square one' really come
from radio football commentary in the 1920s? The BBC is making a
major new series on where words come from. If you'd like to help,
look at the full list of words here: www.bbc.co.uk/wordhunt.
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Gary Lineker today accused Liverpool footballer Harry Kewell of
'classic footballer's naivety' and said he had been 'a pawn' in his
controversial transfer deal from Leeds.
Vladimir Smicer has left Liverpool and signed a two-year contract with
Bordeaux. "This is good. I am glad," he said. Or words to that
effect.
Lee Clark has haggled his way out of a free transfer to Leeds. The
32-year-old's salary demands prompted the club to break off talks, as
Seth Johnson lurked tellingly in the background.
After signing a new three-year contract with Everton this afternoon,
Gary Naysmith spoke of his delight to anyone willing to listen.
Juande Ramos has agreed a one-year contract to coach Sevilla next
season. The 50-year-old, who in the past has managed Sevilla's city
rivals Real Betis, replaces Joaquin Caparros, who took over at
Deportivo La Coruna last week.
* * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
"Roux persuaded local farmers to donate their goats' dung for
Auxerre's playing fields, had players' wives make bibs for training
and in the evenings would run the club's switchboard himself, as he
was the only one still around" - Darren Tulett charts the career of
legendary Auxerre coach Guy Roux:
football.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,9753,1504895,00.html
Harry Pearson reckons it's only a matter of time before trophies are
replaced by big cardboard novelty cheques:
football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,4284,1504338,00.html
The Observer's Paul Wilson explains why Lee Bowyer shouldn't have his
collar felt:
football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,4284,1504843,00.html
England may be out but Georgina Turner's still blogging strong about
Euro 2005: blogs.guardian.co.uk/euro2005/
Alan Pardew as Pope? Marvel at the miracles in our gallery:
football.guardian.co.uk/gallery/0,8555,1502007,00.html
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"While you drone on about Liverpool not really qualifying for Big Cup,
clearly other sports authorities less august than The Fiver, such as
Uefa, choose to differ. If Uefa's new qualification rules were
implemented today, Liverpool would move directly to the Group Stage,
teams like Fenerbahce would be kicked down into the qualifiers, and
Everton would be dumped into the Euro Vase - where they could perhaps
build upon their 0.0000 European coefficient" - John Russell,
Salford.
"Re: Friday's Fiver story about Liverpool. I thought this type of lazy
journalism had been confined to the crusty old stereotypes bin many
years ago. But no, alongside miserly Scots and pig-thick Irish we
have whinging Scousers dusted off once again" - Carl Culling.
[Friday's Fiver story was actually written by a pig-thick Irishman.
As he says himself: "If the cap fits" - Fiver Ed].
"What a result for Liverpool fans. Not only do they get to enter Big
Cup, but they get to whinge about it as well!" - Darran Ross,
Northern Ireland.
"If the England ladies had actually managed to win Women's Euro 2005,
would it have been described as a 'seminal moment' in women's
football?" - Drew Wagner.
"I read somewhere that PSV were accusing Manchester United of trying
to buy Park Ji-sung 'to sell shirts'. Is the Old Trafford Megastore
really that hard up for staff?" - David Clark.
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters - a paragraph
at most please - to the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
Sky Sports 3: Football Asia (9.30pm)
We asked you to tell us about your mates who are rubbish at sport.
Sadly, the following effort from Andrew Sparrow is the best you could
muster.
BBC Radio Five: Sport on Five (7pm)
"Adrian Savage played at left back for our work team and, to be fair,
was the worst footballer I have ever seen before or since (including
girls)," he writes.
Talksport: Kick Off (7pm)
Andrew does go on ... but since this riff was not actually supposed
to be about the least interesting message ever sent to a daily
football email, we're cutting it short. We're very sorry.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off the ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
And now for something completely different: please tell
the.boss@guardian.co.uk about your worst ever summer holidays, and
mark your entries A Postcard from Hell.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
31 POINTS. ONLY THE PUCK OF A BALL IN IT
The Fiver was written by Sean Ingle. Guardian Unlimited (c) Guardian
Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales. No.908396.
Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester.
13 June 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Summer Loving?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP
Today, football's silly season officially began. The Fiver knows this
because, until 2.27pm this afternoon, the game's biggest story was
Andy O'Brien signing for Portsmouth. Meanwhile the nation's tabloids
have been speculating with the feverish intensity of a gold-digger in
1840s California (Owen Goin' screeched the Sun; Henry is new target
for Real! screamed the Stannah). So thank goodness, then, that at
2.28pm a proper story broke: Steven Gerrard wants to stay at
Liverpool.
Rewind six months and the chances of Gerrard signing a new deal were
about as high as the Fiver winning the Merseyside People's Choice
Award. But now Big Cup's in the bag, the Liverpool captain has - much
like ex-boss Ged Houllier in 2001 - had a change of heart. "Of course
I want to stay," Gerrard insisted. "I've still got two seasons left
and I don't know how long talks will go on for but the sooner it is
sorted the better."
And Gerrard's enthusiasm doesn't end there, either - for he can't wait
to face the best Moldova or Kazakhstan has to offer in a Big Cup
first-round qualifier in mid-July. "I'm looking forward to a long
season ahead," he said, as the Village People's Macho Man blared
away. "We can't complain about being in the first round because the
rules stated we shouldn't be in it." A statement that, while true,
will shock most Liverpool fans who've spent the weekend doing just
that.
More encouraging still, Gerrard - like Rafa Benitez - knows that
Liverpool chronically under-performed in the league last season and
wants that to change. "Big Cup has gone now. We've got to be just as
hungry," he thundered. "We won the big one but it is important we
forget about that and move on and try to do better in the
Premiership." Fighting talk or hot air? Come a wet January night in
Wigan, perhaps we'll find out.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Not many people know, but when I blew for full-time the players
didn't hear the whistle and as it was such a great game I let it
continue for a few minutes" - After 35 years, Israeli referee Abraham
Klein reveals how he contributed to the classic Brazil v England
match in the 1970 World Cup.
*********************
ADVERT: ORANGE
Keep up to date on the transfers, tempers and the tantrums. Click here
to get email on your phone:
ad.uk.doubleclick.net/clk;16132284;11305059;u?http://www.orange.co.uk/emailonyourphone/
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Either Bryan Robson has fallen victim to a crank caller or Argentine
goleador Gabriel Batistuta really has got in touch to say he wants to
join WBA's coaching team. "I had a phone call from an agent saying
Batistuta would be interested in working with me and my staff," a
slightly bemused Robbo revealed. "If he does genuinely want to come
in during pre-season training to have a look at the way we train and
have a bit of an input with the strikers, I would certainly look at
that."
Laurent Robert could be cavorting around Bolton in nothing but his
underpants next season.
With Didier Drogba feeling nostalgic for his free-scoring days in
France and Chelsea feeling mortified after spending GBP24m on him,
Gerard Houllier reckons it's time to bring the rich man's Emile
Heskey to Lyon. Jose Mourinho will try to use him as a bargaining
chip for Michael Essien.
Jason Euell wants to leave Charlton. Chris Coleman is thinking of
putting him up at Craven Cottage.
* * * * * * * * * * *
THE BBC WANTS YOUR HELP
Do you know when players first got 'nutmegged?' Were you a Mackem
before 1991? And does the phrase 'back to square one' really come
from radio football commentary in the 1920s? The BBC is making a
major new series on where words come from. If you'd like to help,
look at the full list of words here: www.bbc.co.uk/wordhunt.
* * * * * * * * * * *
NEWS IN BRIEF
Gary Lineker today accused Liverpool footballer Harry Kewell of
'classic footballer's naivety' and said he had been 'a pawn' in his
controversial transfer deal from Leeds.
Vladimir Smicer has left Liverpool and signed a two-year contract with
Bordeaux. "This is good. I am glad," he said. Or words to that
effect.
Lee Clark has haggled his way out of a free transfer to Leeds. The
32-year-old's salary demands prompted the club to break off talks, as
Seth Johnson lurked tellingly in the background.
After signing a new three-year contract with Everton this afternoon,
Gary Naysmith spoke of his delight to anyone willing to listen.
Juande Ramos has agreed a one-year contract to coach Sevilla next
season. The 50-year-old, who in the past has managed Sevilla's city
rivals Real Betis, replaces Joaquin Caparros, who took over at
Deportivo La Coruna last week.
* * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
"Roux persuaded local farmers to donate their goats' dung for
Auxerre's playing fields, had players' wives make bibs for training
and in the evenings would run the club's switchboard himself, as he
was the only one still around" - Darren Tulett charts the career of
legendary Auxerre coach Guy Roux:
football.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,9753,1504895,00.html
Harry Pearson reckons it's only a matter of time before trophies are
replaced by big cardboard novelty cheques:
football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,4284,1504338,00.html
The Observer's Paul Wilson explains why Lee Bowyer shouldn't have his
collar felt:
football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,4284,1504843,00.html
England may be out but Georgina Turner's still blogging strong about
Euro 2005: blogs.guardian.co.uk/euro2005/
Alan Pardew as Pope? Marvel at the miracles in our gallery:
football.guardian.co.uk/gallery/0,8555,1502007,00.html
* * * * * * * * * * *
FIVER LETTERS
"While you drone on about Liverpool not really qualifying for Big Cup,
clearly other sports authorities less august than The Fiver, such as
Uefa, choose to differ. If Uefa's new qualification rules were
implemented today, Liverpool would move directly to the Group Stage,
teams like Fenerbahce would be kicked down into the qualifiers, and
Everton would be dumped into the Euro Vase - where they could perhaps
build upon their 0.0000 European coefficient" - John Russell,
Salford.
"Re: Friday's Fiver story about Liverpool. I thought this type of lazy
journalism had been confined to the crusty old stereotypes bin many
years ago. But no, alongside miserly Scots and pig-thick Irish we
have whinging Scousers dusted off once again" - Carl Culling.
[Friday's Fiver story was actually written by a pig-thick Irishman.
As he says himself: "If the cap fits" - Fiver Ed].
"What a result for Liverpool fans. Not only do they get to enter Big
Cup, but they get to whinge about it as well!" - Darran Ross,
Northern Ireland.
"If the England ladies had actually managed to win Women's Euro 2005,
would it have been described as a 'seminal moment' in women's
football?" - Drew Wagner.
"I read somewhere that PSV were accusing Manchester United of trying
to buy Park Ji-sung 'to sell shirts'. Is the Old Trafford Megastore
really that hard up for staff?" - David Clark.
Want to get something off your chest? Send your letters - a paragraph
at most please - to the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
**********************
TONIGHT'S TV & RADIO
Sky Sports 3: Football Asia (9.30pm)
We asked you to tell us about your mates who are rubbish at sport.
Sadly, the following effort from Andrew Sparrow is the best you could
muster.
BBC Radio Five: Sport on Five (7pm)
"Adrian Savage played at left back for our work team and, to be fair,
was the worst footballer I have ever seen before or since (including
girls)," he writes.
Talksport: Kick Off (7pm)
Andrew does go on ... but since this riff was not actually supposed
to be about the least interesting message ever sent to a daily
football email, we're cutting it short. We're very sorry.
Newstalk 106 (www.newstalk106.ie): Off the ball with Ger Gilroy (7pm)
And now for something completely different: please tell
the.boss@guardian.co.uk about your worst ever summer holidays, and
mark your entries A Postcard from Hell.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
SUBSCRIBE TO THE FIVER
You can subscribe and unsubscribe at
www.guardian.co.uk/football/fiver
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CONTACT THE FIVER
If you want to contact the Fiver, email the.boss@guardian.co.uk.
* * * * * * * * * * *
31 POINTS. ONLY THE PUCK OF A BALL IN IT
The Fiver was written by Sean Ingle. Guardian Unlimited (c) Guardian
Newspapers Limited 2005. Registered in England and Wales. No.908396.
Registered office: 164 Deansgate, Manchester.