Post by Salem6 on May 19, 2005 15:54:21 GMT
The Fiver
19 May 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Flowers,
and Pansies
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CAN YOU HEAR THE SILENCE?
Have you spotted what's missing from the build-up to Saturday's FA Cup
final? It's not team news, since we've all heard that Thierry Henry
is out and Gabriel Heinze is, like the existence of a tasteful suit
in Jonathan Ross's wardrobe, very doubtful. It's something else.
It's certainly not opponent-baiting, because not only have
cantankerous old codger Roy Keane and dive-happy Patrick Vieira been
waving their knobbly sticks at each other all week, but today their
respective managers have been at it too. And just hours after Sir
Alex of Taggart claimed that Arsene Wenger was lying when he claimed
Henry definitely wouldn't figure, Wenger retaliated: "We're not
liars, he can prepare his team to face Henry if he wants, but I can
assure everyone that he's not going to play."
Even ruinous in-fighting is present and accounted for, with details
emerging about proceedings at the Ashley Cole tap-up hearing: Lahn's
Lahn En'n' Stannah claims that Cole's relationship with Arsenal is
"at breaking point" as he's incensed that Gunners vice-chairman David
Dein testified against him and reckons the club's lawyer "fed
questions to the Premier League prosecutors". Their prediction? Cole,
whose advisors also claim that Arsenal reneged on an agreement to
bump up his wages to GBP60,000-a-week, could leave in the summer.
So what's missing, sadly, is this: the sight of an
uncharacteristically vindictive Rafael Benitez laughing lustily as he
whips out a machete and slashes through the hype to explain the true
context of the rinky-dink eggcup on offer in Cardiff. Four months
ago, Benitez was snootily told he was "arrogant" and "didn't
understand English football culture" when he fielded a feeble team in
a third round defeat to Burnley. But now, as Liverpool's well-rested
troops prepare for the final of the only cup competition that really
matters to big clubs any more, it's more obvious than ever that
Benitez got his priorities right. Isn't it?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
ADVERT
Keep up to date on the transfers, tempers and the tantrums. Click here
to get started: www.orange.co.uk/emailonyourphone
* * * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
Enjoy Duncan Ferguson Photoshopped to within an inch of his life and
send us your post-Glazer Man Utd club crests to win brilliant prizes:
football.guardian.co.uk/gallery/0,8555,1486663,00.html
Want help losing your job? Then play the greatest internet sports
games ever:
sport.guardian.co.uk/thegear/story/0,12490,1073461,00.html
Win a 14-strip Umbro kit for your Sunday League team worth GBP600:
football.guardian.co.uk/competition/0,13349,1480038,00.html
*********************
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"I understand that some people are angry with the team and want to
show it. We live in a democratic country and everyone is free to
express their opinion" - Atletico Madrid coach Cesar Ferrando
attempts to put a diplomatic spin on the 'opinion' of 20 club fans,
who invaded the club's training session today in protest at their
slide down La Liga.
*********************
FAINT HEARTS WIN FAIR PLAY
When Jamie Redknapp left White Hart Lane, most THFC fans assumed that
their club's only realistic chance of ever qualifying for Europe
again had gone with him. After all, how could Tottenham possibly
expect to get into next month's Euro Vase Fair Play draw if the
tackle-dodging pretty boy wasn't there to loiter in midfield, hands
on hips, busily not picking up yellow cards for his trademark
non-lunges?
Luckily for THFC, Jamie's former team-mates continued his tradition
of not getting stuck in - a tactic which could earn them a berth
after they finished second behind fellow north London Jessies Arsenal
in the Premiership Fair Play league. And who could argue that a place
in Europe is the least THFC deserve after a season of Everton-esque
over-achievement that saw them finish ninth in the table instead of
in the 10th place most so-called "experts" had predicted?
"When Dean Marney got his booking [two minutes from time against
Blackburn], my mind was on the Fair Play trophy and nothing else. I
wondered what he was doing. But if we had won twice more away from
home we would have got into Europe easily," sighed THFC boss Martin
Jol, upon hearing the club are in the tombola from which two lucky
petticoat-wearing ladies teams that consider the noble art of
tackling beneath them will be picked. "Qualifying for Euro Vase
through the Fair Play league would be embarrassing but it's better
than nothing. It's certainly not as cringe-inducing as Newcastle
entering the Intertoto Cup," he almost continued, but didn't.
*********************
BUMPER RUMOUR MILL
Gillingham will name a new manager tomorrow from the shortlist of
Neale Cooper, Ray Lewington, Ronnie Jepson and Graham Rix.
Stilian Petrov fan David Moyes has a fistful of pounds [4m to be
precise] and is waving them in Celtic's direction.
Leeds are favourites to sign Wrexham's in-no-way-Argentine Basque
striker Juan Ugarte, who is definitely not a midfielder.
Greased-up and ready to rumble, Martin Jol and David O'Leary will
scrap to the death in the hope of prizing Zoltan Gera from West Brom.
With Craig Bellamy's future up in the air, Newcastle will sell Aaron
Hughes to Aston Villa in the next few days, while Nicky Butt ponders
a switch to Bongo FC...
... who, in the meantime, are also looking to win back the heart of
Crystal Palace striker Andy Johnson.
Even if the Eagles keep Johnson, they will be losing Wayne Routledge
to THFC for GBP2m.
And, having been released by Sunderland, Michael Bridges is attracting
interest from Bradford. Kicking a man, etc.
* * * * * * * * * * *
19 May 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Flowers,
and Pansies
* * * * * * * * * * * *
CAN YOU HEAR THE SILENCE?
Have you spotted what's missing from the build-up to Saturday's FA Cup
final? It's not team news, since we've all heard that Thierry Henry
is out and Gabriel Heinze is, like the existence of a tasteful suit
in Jonathan Ross's wardrobe, very doubtful. It's something else.
It's certainly not opponent-baiting, because not only have
cantankerous old codger Roy Keane and dive-happy Patrick Vieira been
waving their knobbly sticks at each other all week, but today their
respective managers have been at it too. And just hours after Sir
Alex of Taggart claimed that Arsene Wenger was lying when he claimed
Henry definitely wouldn't figure, Wenger retaliated: "We're not
liars, he can prepare his team to face Henry if he wants, but I can
assure everyone that he's not going to play."
Even ruinous in-fighting is present and accounted for, with details
emerging about proceedings at the Ashley Cole tap-up hearing: Lahn's
Lahn En'n' Stannah claims that Cole's relationship with Arsenal is
"at breaking point" as he's incensed that Gunners vice-chairman David
Dein testified against him and reckons the club's lawyer "fed
questions to the Premier League prosecutors". Their prediction? Cole,
whose advisors also claim that Arsenal reneged on an agreement to
bump up his wages to GBP60,000-a-week, could leave in the summer.
So what's missing, sadly, is this: the sight of an
uncharacteristically vindictive Rafael Benitez laughing lustily as he
whips out a machete and slashes through the hype to explain the true
context of the rinky-dink eggcup on offer in Cardiff. Four months
ago, Benitez was snootily told he was "arrogant" and "didn't
understand English football culture" when he fielded a feeble team in
a third round defeat to Burnley. But now, as Liverpool's well-rested
troops prepare for the final of the only cup competition that really
matters to big clubs any more, it's more obvious than ever that
Benitez got his priorities right. Isn't it?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
ADVERT
Keep up to date on the transfers, tempers and the tantrums. Click here
to get started: www.orange.co.uk/emailonyourphone
* * * * * * * * * * * *
STILL WANT MORE?
Enjoy Duncan Ferguson Photoshopped to within an inch of his life and
send us your post-Glazer Man Utd club crests to win brilliant prizes:
football.guardian.co.uk/gallery/0,8555,1486663,00.html
Want help losing your job? Then play the greatest internet sports
games ever:
sport.guardian.co.uk/thegear/story/0,12490,1073461,00.html
Win a 14-strip Umbro kit for your Sunday League team worth GBP600:
football.guardian.co.uk/competition/0,13349,1480038,00.html
*********************
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"I understand that some people are angry with the team and want to
show it. We live in a democratic country and everyone is free to
express their opinion" - Atletico Madrid coach Cesar Ferrando
attempts to put a diplomatic spin on the 'opinion' of 20 club fans,
who invaded the club's training session today in protest at their
slide down La Liga.
*********************
FAINT HEARTS WIN FAIR PLAY
When Jamie Redknapp left White Hart Lane, most THFC fans assumed that
their club's only realistic chance of ever qualifying for Europe
again had gone with him. After all, how could Tottenham possibly
expect to get into next month's Euro Vase Fair Play draw if the
tackle-dodging pretty boy wasn't there to loiter in midfield, hands
on hips, busily not picking up yellow cards for his trademark
non-lunges?
Luckily for THFC, Jamie's former team-mates continued his tradition
of not getting stuck in - a tactic which could earn them a berth
after they finished second behind fellow north London Jessies Arsenal
in the Premiership Fair Play league. And who could argue that a place
in Europe is the least THFC deserve after a season of Everton-esque
over-achievement that saw them finish ninth in the table instead of
in the 10th place most so-called "experts" had predicted?
"When Dean Marney got his booking [two minutes from time against
Blackburn], my mind was on the Fair Play trophy and nothing else. I
wondered what he was doing. But if we had won twice more away from
home we would have got into Europe easily," sighed THFC boss Martin
Jol, upon hearing the club are in the tombola from which two lucky
petticoat-wearing ladies teams that consider the noble art of
tackling beneath them will be picked. "Qualifying for Euro Vase
through the Fair Play league would be embarrassing but it's better
than nothing. It's certainly not as cringe-inducing as Newcastle
entering the Intertoto Cup," he almost continued, but didn't.
*********************
BUMPER RUMOUR MILL
Gillingham will name a new manager tomorrow from the shortlist of
Neale Cooper, Ray Lewington, Ronnie Jepson and Graham Rix.
Stilian Petrov fan David Moyes has a fistful of pounds [4m to be
precise] and is waving them in Celtic's direction.
Leeds are favourites to sign Wrexham's in-no-way-Argentine Basque
striker Juan Ugarte, who is definitely not a midfielder.
Greased-up and ready to rumble, Martin Jol and David O'Leary will
scrap to the death in the hope of prizing Zoltan Gera from West Brom.
With Craig Bellamy's future up in the air, Newcastle will sell Aaron
Hughes to Aston Villa in the next few days, while Nicky Butt ponders
a switch to Bongo FC...
... who, in the meantime, are also looking to win back the heart of
Crystal Palace striker Andy Johnson.
Even if the Eagles keep Johnson, they will be losing Wayne Routledge
to THFC for GBP2m.
And, having been released by Sunderland, Michael Bridges is attracting
interest from Bradford. Kicking a man, etc.
* * * * * * * * * * *