Post by Salem6 on Apr 28, 2005 15:41:34 GMT
The Fiver
28 April 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Treble?,
and Glazier
* * * * * * * * * * * *
HYPE AND TRIPE
Sod's law decrees that eagerly-anticipated sporting clashes rarely
live up to their hype, so when two English heavyweights squared up
under the lights for last night's much-hyped eliminator, it was no
great shock that a dire spectacle featuring no end of defensive play
ensued. But while Peter Ebdon's win over Ronnie O'Sullivan was at
least absorbing, the same could scarcely be said about the dreary Big
Cup stalemate fought out between Chelsea and Liverpool, who will
renew hostilities at Anfield with the hosts holding the slenderest of
advantages. Or disadvantages, if Jose Mourinho is to be believed.
"Last season when I was at Porto, it was 0-0 in the semi-final at home
to Deportivo and we beat them in La Coruna. I trust we can do it
again," the Special One chuckled. "I feel there is more pressure for
them and less pressure for us. I think 99.9% of Liverpool people and
fans think they are in the final - but they're not."
Which is a fair point, but then 99.9% of Liverpool people think bubble
perm, 'tache and tracksuit combos are trendy - and they're not
either. An equally high percentage of Scousers also think Steven
Gerrard is on his way to Chelsea next season, a view that won't have
changed after the pin-point accuracy of his passes to assorted
players in blue shirts last night.
However, it seems I'm The Man has a decent excuse for his toothless
effort, having undergone painful emergency dental surgery yesterday
morning. But with a fit-again Didi Hamann expected to replace
suspended Xabi Alonso for the second leg, the man with the furrow for
a forehead is unconcerned. "Bish ish a goob shishuashun," he
stressed, gingerly caressing his anaesthetised jaw. "Bee shav werry
goob shupporshersh. Shay bill be wish ush ash Anfeelsh ansh we neesh
ooh bin." At least that's what we think he said.
*********************
SPECIAL OFFER FOR FIVER READERS
Fancy getting a whopping 60% off a yearly subscription to FourFourTwo?
Then click here:
www.qssa.co.uk/haymarket/template/subsorder.asp?title=FFT&source=gu45
*********************
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"He's cost us GBP230,000 a game. Both himself and Derby must have been
laughing their socks off at that deal. He can play next season - for
the reserves" - Ah, that'll be the sound of Ken Bates shutting the
door on Seth Johnson's Leeds career, then.
*********************
PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR BEARD IS
Today the Fiver spent several hours contemplating its reflection in a
bowl of dishwater. Among the bubbles, it could just pick out the
layer of Dulux starting to dry nicely on its flabby features, and how
it was entertained. Had the rapidly crusting Putting Green glaze not
held its lips together, perhaps a small chortle might even have
escaped. If not for such riveting diversions, you see, we would have
had to pay attention to another 'development' in Malcolm Glazer's
year-long flirtation with Manchester United.
With United sick of the hirsute American's aggressive advances, the
takeover panel has puffed its chest and demanded that he make known
his intentions, honourable or no, by May 17. "Ongoing uncertainty is
disruptive to the company," a club statement said, unwittingly
pre-empting Sir Alex's end-of-season 'Why we came third' speech.
"It's in the interests of all concerned to have a definitive
timetable," it went on, marking the calendar in thick red marker pen.
But even then the club probably won't put out. "Given its concerns
about the potential impact on the company," it said, coyly wrapping a
lock of hair around a polished finger nail, "the board has informed
Glazer that it cannot provide a recommendation to shareholders to
accept any offer made on the basis of the current proposal.
"The board remains of the view that the assumptions in the business
plan are aggressive," the statement continued, "but recognises that
the price of 300 pence per share is a fair one and may be attractive
to some shareholders," it added, offering up a brief prayer that that
wouldn't include the names McManus and Magnier. We may be alone, but
what would be attractive to the Fiver after enduring all this
needless foreplay is a troupe of cheerleaders and some shameless
asset-stripping.
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Guus Hiddink hopes to end Mateja Kezman's 'misery' at Chelsea by
bringing him back to PSV.
Bad news for Ashley Cole: Chelsea now want Udinese left-back Marek
Jankulovski.
Having been told Wolves' Joleon Lescott will set him back GBP10m,
Villa boss David O'Leary is now planning a GBP3m bid for Rangers'
Dado Prso.
Arsenal will step up their interest in wantaway Ajax star Stephen
Pienaar, while Juventus have joined the chase to sign wantaway
Arsenal star Edu.
* * * * * * * * * * *
28 April 2005
Guardian Unlimited's tea-time take on the world of football
guardian.co.uk/football
In today's Fiver: Treble?,
and Glazier
* * * * * * * * * * * *
HYPE AND TRIPE
Sod's law decrees that eagerly-anticipated sporting clashes rarely
live up to their hype, so when two English heavyweights squared up
under the lights for last night's much-hyped eliminator, it was no
great shock that a dire spectacle featuring no end of defensive play
ensued. But while Peter Ebdon's win over Ronnie O'Sullivan was at
least absorbing, the same could scarcely be said about the dreary Big
Cup stalemate fought out between Chelsea and Liverpool, who will
renew hostilities at Anfield with the hosts holding the slenderest of
advantages. Or disadvantages, if Jose Mourinho is to be believed.
"Last season when I was at Porto, it was 0-0 in the semi-final at home
to Deportivo and we beat them in La Coruna. I trust we can do it
again," the Special One chuckled. "I feel there is more pressure for
them and less pressure for us. I think 99.9% of Liverpool people and
fans think they are in the final - but they're not."
Which is a fair point, but then 99.9% of Liverpool people think bubble
perm, 'tache and tracksuit combos are trendy - and they're not
either. An equally high percentage of Scousers also think Steven
Gerrard is on his way to Chelsea next season, a view that won't have
changed after the pin-point accuracy of his passes to assorted
players in blue shirts last night.
However, it seems I'm The Man has a decent excuse for his toothless
effort, having undergone painful emergency dental surgery yesterday
morning. But with a fit-again Didi Hamann expected to replace
suspended Xabi Alonso for the second leg, the man with the furrow for
a forehead is unconcerned. "Bish ish a goob shishuashun," he
stressed, gingerly caressing his anaesthetised jaw. "Bee shav werry
goob shupporshersh. Shay bill be wish ush ash Anfeelsh ansh we neesh
ooh bin." At least that's what we think he said.
*********************
SPECIAL OFFER FOR FIVER READERS
Fancy getting a whopping 60% off a yearly subscription to FourFourTwo?
Then click here:
www.qssa.co.uk/haymarket/template/subsorder.asp?title=FFT&source=gu45
*********************
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"He's cost us GBP230,000 a game. Both himself and Derby must have been
laughing their socks off at that deal. He can play next season - for
the reserves" - Ah, that'll be the sound of Ken Bates shutting the
door on Seth Johnson's Leeds career, then.
*********************
PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR BEARD IS
Today the Fiver spent several hours contemplating its reflection in a
bowl of dishwater. Among the bubbles, it could just pick out the
layer of Dulux starting to dry nicely on its flabby features, and how
it was entertained. Had the rapidly crusting Putting Green glaze not
held its lips together, perhaps a small chortle might even have
escaped. If not for such riveting diversions, you see, we would have
had to pay attention to another 'development' in Malcolm Glazer's
year-long flirtation with Manchester United.
With United sick of the hirsute American's aggressive advances, the
takeover panel has puffed its chest and demanded that he make known
his intentions, honourable or no, by May 17. "Ongoing uncertainty is
disruptive to the company," a club statement said, unwittingly
pre-empting Sir Alex's end-of-season 'Why we came third' speech.
"It's in the interests of all concerned to have a definitive
timetable," it went on, marking the calendar in thick red marker pen.
But even then the club probably won't put out. "Given its concerns
about the potential impact on the company," it said, coyly wrapping a
lock of hair around a polished finger nail, "the board has informed
Glazer that it cannot provide a recommendation to shareholders to
accept any offer made on the basis of the current proposal.
"The board remains of the view that the assumptions in the business
plan are aggressive," the statement continued, "but recognises that
the price of 300 pence per share is a fair one and may be attractive
to some shareholders," it added, offering up a brief prayer that that
wouldn't include the names McManus and Magnier. We may be alone, but
what would be attractive to the Fiver after enduring all this
needless foreplay is a troupe of cheerleaders and some shameless
asset-stripping.
*********************
THE RUMOUR MILL
Guus Hiddink hopes to end Mateja Kezman's 'misery' at Chelsea by
bringing him back to PSV.
Bad news for Ashley Cole: Chelsea now want Udinese left-back Marek
Jankulovski.
Having been told Wolves' Joleon Lescott will set him back GBP10m,
Villa boss David O'Leary is now planning a GBP3m bid for Rangers'
Dado Prso.
Arsenal will step up their interest in wantaway Ajax star Stephen
Pienaar, while Juventus have joined the chase to sign wantaway
Arsenal star Edu.
* * * * * * * * * * *