Post by Salem6 on Nov 4, 2003 18:33:41 GMT
Tuesday November 04 2003
By Pete Gill
* “They’ve clearly done a deal” - Sir Alex Ferguson’s explanation for the record fine and the bans, totalling nine matches, meted out by the FA to Arsenal for the shove-fest at Old Trafford in September.
* It’s just a bit of fun and games. Sir Alex is not making serious accusations about anyone” - Outgoing ManYoo communications director Patrick Harverson. If Paddy genuinely thinks that accusing the sport’s governing body of being in cahoots with the league leaders isn’t a serious charge then his new employers at Buckingham Palace are on course to plumb new depths of ridiculousness.
* "I think Arsenal will be delighted with the decision, that's without question. Vieira’s injured, for a start, isn't he?” - Yet more evidence that Ferguson hadn’t put a lot of thought into the matter: Vieira is injured, but his ban won’t be imposed until the end of November, by which time he is likely to be fit.
* “What has Patrick done, frankly? He has been suspended for two games - one game on top of the ban for being sent off - and fined £20,000 for not walking off the pitch quickly enough. At what speed do you have to walk off when you've been sent off? In which rule is that written? So do you think we've struck a deal with the FA?” - Part of Arsene Wenger’s response. One of several peculiarities to the FA punishment (Why give Keown and Lauren a maximum ban, but not a maximum fine? Why are the punishments not being imposed for 20 days and not the usual two weeks? What was the point of fining Ashley Cole £10k?) was indeed that Vieira was banned for not walking off the pitch quick enough. He’s the first player to have ever been banned for doing so. And very probably the last.
* “Not bad” - Teddy Sheringham’s grudging assessment of Roy Keane’s left-footed curler against Pompey. If you hadn’t guessed, the pair don’t get on.
* “I didn’t talk to Glenn but my agent talked to him. I don’t know why it didn’t work out - I don’t think he needed a player like me” - Jay Jay Okocha with yet more damning evidence about Glenn Hoddle’s managerial ability.
* "Funnily enough I bumped into Simon Jordan in a bar in Spain last week, and who should he be deep in conversation with but Mark Goldberg. I almost fell off my chair! 'Oh look,' I said. 'The man who almost wrecked Crystal Palace talking to the one who's about to!'" - Extract from the tactful programme notes of Millwall chairman Theo Paphitis.
* “If we can put on a good show against Birmingham, it might influence the powers that be we should be on more. Sky should put on more games like these as often the big games they bill are quite flat” - Alan Curbishley clearly didn’t tune in for Sky’s recent games, including such gems as Bolton-Birmingham, THFC-Middlesbrough, Leicester-Blackburn and Everton-Southampton.
* “The fans were shouting for my head. On the back of that performance, they are probably quite right” - Port Vale manager Brian Horton comes clean. And presumably hopes that Vale fans haven’t been inspired by Kill Bill.
* “I haven't heard anything from Manchester City since I've been here and that shows how much they are bothered about me” - Darren Huckerby, on loan at Norwich. The complication in this tears-in-the-eye inducing lament is that Citeh are still paying Huckerby’s wages – which are so exorbitant that Norwich cannot afford to sign him.
* “If you knew Ash [Cole] you wouldn’t think that at all” – Anonymous ManYoo player, from the Sunday Times. Far more interesting was the newspaper’s revelation that the comment came about when ‘in the Manchester United dressing room they were recently discussing their least favourite members of the Arsenal team.’ As you do.
* “Robbie was so hammered that when staff sprinkled salt on the back of his hand for a tequila, he snorted it straight up his nose!" – An onlooker, as quoted by the News of the World, describes the nocturnal habits of Robbie Fowler at an Essex nightclub.
* “We have lost a match we should have won” – Bobby Robson fails to appreciate the subtleties of a 1-1 draw with Villa.
* “If it is the case that you need just a first 11 and three or four more players, then why did Christopher Columbus sail to India to discover America” – Claudio Ranieri, (who else?), as quoted by the Observer.
“Mills is just a f*cking idiot. I won't go on too much about Mills except to say that he winds other players up all the time - he's known for it. The free-kick was a disgrace. It was bollocks. Mills was trying to have a fight but the referee just let them take it. That’s crap refereeing” – Paul Ince had a fun day on Saturday.
* “Like World War Three” – Dave Jones on the fracas in the Riverside tunnel after Boro v Wolves.
* “I hate to sound like Arsene Wenger, but I didn’t see the incidents” – Steve McClaren. To be fair, at least Wenger never missed a war.
* "Football hasn't changed from day one in that if you show an ability to control and pass the ball there is a good chance you will prove to be a good team. We also looked very one-dimensional and I will have to find out why. That's all I'm saying - thanks for coming” - Transcript of Gordon Strachan’s post-Citeh match press conference. By general consent, it lasted approximately 15 seconds
* "I don't think we need any more defenders” - Chelsea’s John Terry with the well-he-would-say-that-wouldn’t-he quote of the week.
* ”John Gorman has come here and it’s been fantastic what he has done” - Wycombe’s Keith Ryan with the revisionist quote of the week runner-up. Wanderers have won just two of Gorman’s seven games.
* “Chelsea won today, Arsenal won today and we won today. You keep waiting for one to slip up, but it hasn’t happened” – Sir Alex, in the afterglow of victory against Portsmouth, trumps Ryan by eradicating that non-slip up against Fulham seven days earlier from history.
* “ ” - Graeme Souness and the missing quote of the week after defeat at Leicester.
By Pete Gill
* “They’ve clearly done a deal” - Sir Alex Ferguson’s explanation for the record fine and the bans, totalling nine matches, meted out by the FA to Arsenal for the shove-fest at Old Trafford in September.
* It’s just a bit of fun and games. Sir Alex is not making serious accusations about anyone” - Outgoing ManYoo communications director Patrick Harverson. If Paddy genuinely thinks that accusing the sport’s governing body of being in cahoots with the league leaders isn’t a serious charge then his new employers at Buckingham Palace are on course to plumb new depths of ridiculousness.
* "I think Arsenal will be delighted with the decision, that's without question. Vieira’s injured, for a start, isn't he?” - Yet more evidence that Ferguson hadn’t put a lot of thought into the matter: Vieira is injured, but his ban won’t be imposed until the end of November, by which time he is likely to be fit.
* “What has Patrick done, frankly? He has been suspended for two games - one game on top of the ban for being sent off - and fined £20,000 for not walking off the pitch quickly enough. At what speed do you have to walk off when you've been sent off? In which rule is that written? So do you think we've struck a deal with the FA?” - Part of Arsene Wenger’s response. One of several peculiarities to the FA punishment (Why give Keown and Lauren a maximum ban, but not a maximum fine? Why are the punishments not being imposed for 20 days and not the usual two weeks? What was the point of fining Ashley Cole £10k?) was indeed that Vieira was banned for not walking off the pitch quick enough. He’s the first player to have ever been banned for doing so. And very probably the last.
* “Not bad” - Teddy Sheringham’s grudging assessment of Roy Keane’s left-footed curler against Pompey. If you hadn’t guessed, the pair don’t get on.
* “I didn’t talk to Glenn but my agent talked to him. I don’t know why it didn’t work out - I don’t think he needed a player like me” - Jay Jay Okocha with yet more damning evidence about Glenn Hoddle’s managerial ability.
* "Funnily enough I bumped into Simon Jordan in a bar in Spain last week, and who should he be deep in conversation with but Mark Goldberg. I almost fell off my chair! 'Oh look,' I said. 'The man who almost wrecked Crystal Palace talking to the one who's about to!'" - Extract from the tactful programme notes of Millwall chairman Theo Paphitis.
* “If we can put on a good show against Birmingham, it might influence the powers that be we should be on more. Sky should put on more games like these as often the big games they bill are quite flat” - Alan Curbishley clearly didn’t tune in for Sky’s recent games, including such gems as Bolton-Birmingham, THFC-Middlesbrough, Leicester-Blackburn and Everton-Southampton.
* “The fans were shouting for my head. On the back of that performance, they are probably quite right” - Port Vale manager Brian Horton comes clean. And presumably hopes that Vale fans haven’t been inspired by Kill Bill.
* “I haven't heard anything from Manchester City since I've been here and that shows how much they are bothered about me” - Darren Huckerby, on loan at Norwich. The complication in this tears-in-the-eye inducing lament is that Citeh are still paying Huckerby’s wages – which are so exorbitant that Norwich cannot afford to sign him.
* “If you knew Ash [Cole] you wouldn’t think that at all” – Anonymous ManYoo player, from the Sunday Times. Far more interesting was the newspaper’s revelation that the comment came about when ‘in the Manchester United dressing room they were recently discussing their least favourite members of the Arsenal team.’ As you do.
* “Robbie was so hammered that when staff sprinkled salt on the back of his hand for a tequila, he snorted it straight up his nose!" – An onlooker, as quoted by the News of the World, describes the nocturnal habits of Robbie Fowler at an Essex nightclub.
* “We have lost a match we should have won” – Bobby Robson fails to appreciate the subtleties of a 1-1 draw with Villa.
* “If it is the case that you need just a first 11 and three or four more players, then why did Christopher Columbus sail to India to discover America” – Claudio Ranieri, (who else?), as quoted by the Observer.
“Mills is just a f*cking idiot. I won't go on too much about Mills except to say that he winds other players up all the time - he's known for it. The free-kick was a disgrace. It was bollocks. Mills was trying to have a fight but the referee just let them take it. That’s crap refereeing” – Paul Ince had a fun day on Saturday.
* “Like World War Three” – Dave Jones on the fracas in the Riverside tunnel after Boro v Wolves.
* “I hate to sound like Arsene Wenger, but I didn’t see the incidents” – Steve McClaren. To be fair, at least Wenger never missed a war.
* "Football hasn't changed from day one in that if you show an ability to control and pass the ball there is a good chance you will prove to be a good team. We also looked very one-dimensional and I will have to find out why. That's all I'm saying - thanks for coming” - Transcript of Gordon Strachan’s post-Citeh match press conference. By general consent, it lasted approximately 15 seconds
* "I don't think we need any more defenders” - Chelsea’s John Terry with the well-he-would-say-that-wouldn’t-he quote of the week.
* ”John Gorman has come here and it’s been fantastic what he has done” - Wycombe’s Keith Ryan with the revisionist quote of the week runner-up. Wanderers have won just two of Gorman’s seven games.
* “Chelsea won today, Arsenal won today and we won today. You keep waiting for one to slip up, but it hasn’t happened” – Sir Alex, in the afterglow of victory against Portsmouth, trumps Ryan by eradicating that non-slip up against Fulham seven days earlier from history.
* “ ” - Graeme Souness and the missing quote of the week after defeat at Leicester.