Post by Salem6 on Feb 27, 2004 18:59:20 GMT
Darwin Awards 2000
DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES
1.In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck
and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an
18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
his car keys.
2.In October,a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker,
who was always "totally focused when he ran,"
according to his wife,accidentally jogged off a
100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
3.Buxton, NC:A man died on a beach when an
8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as
he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel Jones, 21 dug
the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,and had
been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday
afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5
feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks,
used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their
way to Jones,a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could
not reach him.It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a
hospital.
4.In February, Santiago Alvarado,24,was killed in
Lompoc,CA,as he fell face-first through the ceiling
of bicycle shop he was burglarising. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth
(to keep his > > hands free) rammed into the base of
his skull as he hit the floor.
5.According to police in Dahlonega,GA,ROTC cadet Nick
Berrena,20,was stabbed to death in January by fellow
cadet Jeffrey Hoffman,23,who was trying to prove that
a knife could not penetrate the flakvest Berrena was
wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February
in Selbyville,Del,as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7.In February,according to police in Windsor,Ontario,
Daniel Kolta,27,and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a
head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of
chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
DARWIN AWARD HONOURABLE MENTIONS
1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried
to kill a millipede with a shot from his 22-calibre
rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the
hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.
2.In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins,
attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement,
declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch
and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.
3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
Township, NJ, in September, and his wife Bonnie was
also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew
up in their car.While driving around at 2 AM,the bored
couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the
window to see what would happen, but they apparently
failed to notice that the window was closed.
MORE
TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had
bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows
Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the
walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am.Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
brought bungee rope.Bingham,who had continued
drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.One
end of the cable was secured
around Bingham?s leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.He
miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
"All I can say,"said Bingham,"is that God was watching
out for me on that night.There's just no other explanation for it."
Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER:
1. PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed
his constipated elephant
'Stefan' 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
plugged-up elephant finally let fly and suffocated the keeper under 200
pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,46,was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil
enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like
a dump truck full of mud.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on
a rock and lay unconscious as
the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said
flabbergasted Paderborn police detective
Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him,he lay under all that dung for
at
least an hour before a watchman came along
and during that time he suffocated."It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that happen.