Post by Salem6 on Feb 27, 2004 18:53:22 GMT
Family Funny: "Blonde Movie Rental" Rated G
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets
out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and,
after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very
stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something
comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's
nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the
tape, but static."
Store Clerk: "Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those
tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Blonde: "Let see. It's from Sony. OK! I got it! It's called 'Head Cleaner'."
A blonde fights back
A blonde, sick and tired of all the blonde jokes, stays up one night,
memorizing all the state capitals. So the next day, at work, when some
guy starts telling a blonde joke, she's ready for him. Angrily, she
walks over to him and says, "I've had it up to here with these blonde
jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did
something probably none of you could do: I memorized all the state
capitals."
"Okay," says the guy," What's the capital of Nevada?"
The blonde pauses for dramatic effect, then proudly says: "N."
A blonde goes out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on
the opposite bank.
"Yoohoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You
are already on the other side."
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her
first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while,
selects a title that sounds *VERY* stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape
in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls
the video store to complain.
"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."
The Store Clerk replied,
"Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
To which the Blonde answered,
"It's called 'Head Cleaner' ".
Q: Why do so many men decide to trade theire Blonds for trashcans? A: Trashcans have smaller holes and they taste better!
What's the difference between a mosquitoe and a Blonde?
The Mosquitoe stops sucking when you slap it.
Q: What do a ufo and a smart blonde have in common?
A: you always hear about them, but you never see them.
One day a blonde decided that she was tired of all the dumb blonde jokes and she didn't want to be made fun of any more so she died her hair brown. One afternoon when she was driving down a country road, she stoped to let a flock of sheep pass. she asked the herder,"if i can guess the number of sheep in your flock, can i have one?" the shepard replied,"go for it!" not thinking that she would even come close. Off the top of her head she guess the number "352." Astonished, she guessed right and the shepard let her pick one. When she was done searching for the cutest one, he asked her,"if i can guess the true color of your hair, can i have my dog back?"
One day there was a guy outside his house mowing the lawn,then he notices his neighboor (a blonde) goes outside to check her mailbox nothing is in there so she goes inside.Then blonde comes out side three more times and check her mail still nothing.Then the fifth time she checks it,the guy turn off his lawnmower and tells her "They don't deliver mail on Sundays" she looks at him confused and tells him "Are you sure my computer keeps telling me I've got mail"
Q:How many jokes are there about blondes?
A:None, everything is true.
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool.
After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the
bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes
absolutly quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, " Before
you tell that joke, you should know
something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200
lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weightlifter.
The lady to your right is a blonde and shes a pro wrestler. Think about it
seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy thinks for a
moment and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets
out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and,
after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very
stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something
comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's
nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the
tape, but static."
Store Clerk: "Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those
tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Blonde: "Let see. It's from Sony. OK! I got it! It's called 'Head Cleaner'."
A blonde fights back
A blonde, sick and tired of all the blonde jokes, stays up one night,
memorizing all the state capitals. So the next day, at work, when some
guy starts telling a blonde joke, she's ready for him. Angrily, she
walks over to him and says, "I've had it up to here with these blonde
jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did
something probably none of you could do: I memorized all the state
capitals."
"Okay," says the guy," What's the capital of Nevada?"
The blonde pauses for dramatic effect, then proudly says: "N."
A blonde goes out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on
the opposite bank.
"Yoohoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You
are already on the other side."
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her
first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while,
selects a title that sounds *VERY* stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape
in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls
the video store to complain.
"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."
The Store Clerk replied,
"Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
To which the Blonde answered,
"It's called 'Head Cleaner' ".
Q: Why do so many men decide to trade theire Blonds for trashcans? A: Trashcans have smaller holes and they taste better!
What's the difference between a mosquitoe and a Blonde?
The Mosquitoe stops sucking when you slap it.
Q: What do a ufo and a smart blonde have in common?
A: you always hear about them, but you never see them.
One day a blonde decided that she was tired of all the dumb blonde jokes and she didn't want to be made fun of any more so she died her hair brown. One afternoon when she was driving down a country road, she stoped to let a flock of sheep pass. she asked the herder,"if i can guess the number of sheep in your flock, can i have one?" the shepard replied,"go for it!" not thinking that she would even come close. Off the top of her head she guess the number "352." Astonished, she guessed right and the shepard let her pick one. When she was done searching for the cutest one, he asked her,"if i can guess the true color of your hair, can i have my dog back?"
One day there was a guy outside his house mowing the lawn,then he notices his neighboor (a blonde) goes outside to check her mailbox nothing is in there so she goes inside.Then blonde comes out side three more times and check her mail still nothing.Then the fifth time she checks it,the guy turn off his lawnmower and tells her "They don't deliver mail on Sundays" she looks at him confused and tells him "Are you sure my computer keeps telling me I've got mail"
Q:How many jokes are there about blondes?
A:None, everything is true.
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool.
After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the
bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes
absolutly quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, " Before
you tell that joke, you should know
something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200
lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weightlifter.
The lady to your right is a blonde and shes a pro wrestler. Think about it
seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy thinks for a
moment and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."